Where's the respect?

[texas_jack]

Question: Is it possible to brat in a respectful way? Or is bratting someone, by it's very nature, disrespectful? Where does one draw the line? When does playful bratting become annoying disrespect? and who decides Where and when? Can one brat without BEING a brat? What are we teaching the young people who are just starting out in this lifestyle? That the best, quickest and/or funnest way to get the spanking they desire is to act like a brat? Don't get me wrong here. I feel that if a person is a brat then they should be the best brat they CAN be. But what if a person isn't really a brat but a potential submissive or a potential slave who doesn't know any other way to get what he/she needs? Are submissive, or slave, and brat mutually exclusive? Or can one be both? or all three? I've thought about this question alot and I would love to hear your opinions.

[aurora]

Anyone who knows me knows that respect is a very big issue with me, both in the way I choose to conduct myself so that others may have respect for me, and in the people I choose to associate with. I won't submit to or play with anyone who doesn't command my respect. I reserve the "Sir" title for those whom have earned and kept my respect. This has always been my issue with bratting... I always just thought it was an annoying antic, almost malicious Certain friends in the lifestyle have dubbed me the "anti-brat". I knew this from the get-go, though. There was no misguided newbie phase where I thought I had to resort to silly string and salt in someone's coffee to see the demonstration of power I wanted.

On the other hand, I have a wicked tongue sometimes. It's what always gets me into trouble. It's my sense of humor, and the comments are always said in fun with no ill-will intended. I know some people consider that bratty, though. I know I don't, I guess it's a matter of perception. As far as the respect issue goes here, sure the comments would be disrespectful if they were taken at face value. The impish smile and mischeivious eyes ought to negate the negativity though, right? Is it still disrespect if it's just good-natured fun?

I don't think we have any limitations on whatever hats (titles?) we may wear on any given day. You can be completely submissive one day, and have an insatiable, fiery streak the next. Maybe even it's a matter of one parter developing one set of characers, and another invigorating a whole different set. It's a woman's perogative to be unpredictable

[sister0163]

Hi Jack
This is a great set of questions, I in my own way have thought much about this too . in my exsperence , in the past, way past, before spanking was known as a seperate part of the connection to the BDSM realm, as its own kind of whole kink, before the internet came to being a reality of person to person contact, the kind of brating we see now , was not considered acceptable or respectful , and as it was introduced to a lot of us back then as discipline and punnishment, even though a proclivity and a desire and more so for us hardwired to it, a strong need. it was mostly kept with in the protocal of the BDSM setting , and there where very few just spanking gatherings , private let alone public , so the settings in which one would behave was more strengent , at least i think it was , bratting persay was done in a reserved and in a much more lower tone then it takes life too today, times have changed , the restrictions and reservations of life in our parents time are not the kinds of restrictions and reservations we have today.
for me , though i have been called a brat many thousands of times , i wonder am i truly ? i am a submissive , and i do have a reservation of certin behaviors that i feel are compleatly unaccptable , but as well in many ways i think that my reservations come from having entered this much more public realm of the spanking scene,though a set of protocals that where set up in the world of darker BDSM protocals. and we where already a established couple ( dom and sub) years before the internet, and yet how dose one truly close off a natural part of them selves ? in the first place , i have always been sassy i have a confidence that leaves me bolder then some , though i do not believe in degrading someone to gain what i want or being outright hurtful to test the boundries my Dom has set for me in the first place , to gain a reaction, the word please comes to mind here , and i know how to use it , and i do when i want or need a spanking . however there is also the public time of playing and scening in those settings for me itis (play time) i want it to be lighthearted and fun , and i will Brat! i will tease a Top , i will use tools of the trade persay , silly string , bubbles , even costumes , i will bring foam darts and other toys and i love to watch a great brat at work, for me i want the party to be a party , lots of laughter and comeradrie and of corse a lot of spanking in a fun and non commited way. the kind of spanking i recive in a party setting is not with the same kind of seriousness i recive within the boundries of my relationship and one other thing we need to consider is that todays yournger set of adults have a different view of what is considered morally acceptable compared to us that are middled age.
and with given thought to that we as well must consider that even in the realm of spanking this is a indevidual proclivity and what is right for one may not be right for anouther and vice a versa so havign a good communication base with anyone you scene with is very important and when you are attending a gathering , finding out what is acceptable behavior in the public arena you are in is allways good too .
i hope i did not scoot to far off the subject of your question . if i did emmm Spank me !

[jerseysweet]

Originally Posted by aurora

There was no misguided newbie phase where I thought I had to resort to silly string and salt in someone's coffee to see the demonstration of power I wanted.

I may be misunderstanding your wording but I don't think so. I don't think bratting is part of being a newbie, or more specifically, a misguided newbie. A lot of tops I know like bratting, or welcome it - some don't. As I've played more, I realize that I don't have to be a brat to get a spanking I want, but sometimes it's fun to know you're being spanked for a reason.

Kate

[aurora]

Kate, I was answering for myself, not all newbies. No matter what question gets raised, we can never answer for an entire group as a whole.

[kaylex]

I think it's funnny that everyone who has weighed in have been bottoms (or switches). And of course we are going to answer through what we do. I'd love to hear the tops point of veiw. That being said I'll add my own mode of operation.

I'm definately a brat and not at all a slave, not really submissive (although I can be if the right person comes along). My spanking fun is just that fun. Now I can have a great time being spanked for the sake of being spanked. If some one asks to spank me at a party i will go play in a heart beat. If I've been eyeing some one I may ask them... however if I'm in a particularly feisty mode I love to brat!

I admit at my first party I definately bratted to hard with people I didn't know. But that had nothing to do with thinking that I had to or being led astray. i was just caught up in the moment. I said some things that did cross the line of bratty (I might add that I think more people cross the line with Verbal bratting then any other kind) and went into the disrespectful realm. But hey we all get cuaght up in adreneline and endorfins sometimes.

This is probably to general but with people who really identify with being a brat I say there are three categories: feisty brat, sweet brat, and Sexy Brat..... I'm definately a feisty brat.


There's my two smacks worth!
Kaylex

[imapuckhead04]

Aurora I really like your response. You seem so well thought out in everything you say. I guess if I had to put a word to it, it would be composed.

Kaylex is superbrat in backwards upside piglatin!

But I side with Kaylex alot on this one. For me it is also all about having fun and making it fun. The spanking can be a serious spanking but its all in fun. Not really into discipline (surprise!).

I personally think bratting has more to do with personality than experience level, although I can see as a newbie that bratting could be seen as a way to initiate play.

As for the actual question I think alot of it has to do with the individuals involved. I have seen some bratty behaviour that I felt defintely crossed the line. However it did not involve me so perhaps the ones whom it did involve thought it was ok. Or maybe they dealth with it in private at a later date instead of making a scene.

I have crossed the line on occassion and apologized later when I found out that I had crossed the line. I also apologize if I think I crossed the line. Liek Kaylex said sometimes you just get caught up in the moment.

And now back to your regularly scheduled bratting!

Puck

I like this question.

In my excursions into chat I've found a lot of behavior that's just stupid.

That being said, I like clever bratty stuff. It can be fairly innocent fun. But i'm more into either totally erotic spankings or real discipline ones. In neither is bratting needed too much.

Elise

My mistress let's me brat respectfully....And I have to be willing to pay the interest. Ouch!!

[dragonbratling]

i do not consider myself a slave at all. a little submissive and a little brat definitely. i may or may not brat at a party, it just depends on the mood and the Top. i've seen other bottoms do things that i thought was disrespectful but i never said anything because i was going by my own perceptions and my past. if it was what the bottom and Top wanted, go for it. so i think that perhaps the disrespect is a matter of the observers own past and thought process.