"Not Now Maybe Later"

[jerseysweet]

Originally Posted by Arianna

Jersey - I've read your response and it sounds like you have been to a few parties. It is wonderful that you think so highly of your boyfriend (and his parents) - he must be a wonderful man and from a close family. If I'm reading your comment correctly, you have been to more than a couple of parties and have had similar experiences (having difficulty with the "no thanks" factor). Since you seem to really value your boyfriend's opinion, I wonder if you could approach him and ask for his help on how to handle the situation when it arises.

That's a good idea Arianna. I actually think Sarah's answer of "We've already discussed who we're playing with this party" is an excellent idea. I think it's concrete and allows for the possibility of a new play partner if the choice arises, etc.

Originally Posted by Arianna

I think Sarah is right on target. I highly value my husband's opinion and always take it into consideration (he also has more life experience), as you should with your boyfriend, but that doesn't mean you don't have a voice in your life. I hope your next experience is more enjoyable and if you are faced with a similar situation, I'm sure you will be ready with a more direct response (while sharing a warm smile with the person). It can be done - practice makes perfect. : )

I do have a voice, not only in my life but in our relationship. As from him being the top and me being the spankee, we are 100% equal in every other way. I was simply talking to him about his opinion, and since he doesn't post here I thought I'd share another view, that I happen to think isn't a bad one.

Later on we were discussing the responses to it and realized that it wasn't clear that while *we* spoke of male dominants and female bottoms/submissives/spankees, we do feel it applies to all who identify as tops and bottoms no matter what their orientation.

Kate