Where does Spanking fit?

[sister0163]

Hi Billy

As i read your question , i could not help but laugh, here we are again it is of each indevidual ,to decied what it is to them , in my opinion , you know like ,the question of did the egg come first or did the chicken?

is Spanking a part of BDSM, or is it,it's Own Indevidual Kink ,my opinion is it is Both !
BDSM is a complex combination of edges. and different leavels of play with in each genre of Kink, and that can include spanking . In the same spanking is it's own Proclivity , and therefore for some it is a seperate kink.

BDSM is based in power/controle .Or Power Exchange ie Giver/Reciver and that dose not mean only in pain or sex or discipline or bondage etc etc...

and in "my" opinion spanking uses that power /controle dynamic to work.

~ dena

[Kyra]

Ok I've read everyones comments and they make sence.

However now wondering myself. Where does Master/Mistriss and slave fit in. I assumed that is part of BDSM but it is not in the genral names and everytime I look its is not listed under the same thing. I think what I find difficult is finding slave themes with spanking. Incredibly hard alot of the stuff is just hardcore BDSM with people doing things that are a bit much for me.

[Billy Wizz]

Hi dena and Kyra

I know, what you mean dena about laughing at the question. And you are right some extent it one of those "what came first the chicken or the egg" questions that doesn't have a real answer. Maybe in a moment of madness I thought it would something interesting to discuss.

I think my opinion is similar to yours dena .

I see it as a specialisation of BDSM. It is clearly part of the Dominance and Submission scene but it seems to draw a different crowd of people some of which feel uncomfortable with main stream BDSM. Like you say these people have their own habitual inclination to the spanking scene and the spanking scene alone making it a kink in it own right.

I'm one of those people that has that been into the spanking scene since I can't remember when, but when I first used the internet spanking sites simply didn't exist and the only place that my kink fitted into was the few BDSM sites that were then about. It seemed natural to join one of these. Thankfully I seemed to fit in to there little world with no problem at all and found extentions to my spanking kink. Being on BDSM sites certainly broadened my thinking and allowed me to pick and choose what I liked and didn't like in the BDSM scene. It was only with the formation of usernet group alt.sex.spanking that spanking started to get it's own identity on the internet and early sites like this came along. So I guess that why I see the Spanking and BDSM as similar. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble.

Turning to Kyra's point.

The Master/Mistriss and slave side of BDSM fits into the Spanker/spankee relationship of the Spanking scene. Although there is no real slave themes, i.e I don't think many, if any, spankers would order their spankee to kneel at there feet while they watch TV etc, there is an understanding between a Spanker and a Spankee that there are rules and boundaries that once crossed can result in a spanking. So there are rules and conventions about expected behaviour just as there is in a Master/Mistriss and slave relationship in BDSM. They are just not as extreme.

The one thing I would say there is a more fun side to Spanking that you often see at spanking parties that doesn't seem to exist as much in BDSM. BDSM seems much darker and more controlling.

Billy

[StripesTO]

Why is it that we always have to label ourselves and then sub classify? It seems we have to attach ourselves to some category and then find our place within it.

I am ME and happy to be so. I love spanking... I am ME who loves spanking in all its forms. I confess to knowing absolutely nothing about BDSM and have no inclination to find out! Hooray and total respect for those who consider spanking part of BDSM. If that fits for you, then it is so.


I think when you grow comfortable in who you are and what works and doesn't for you it is easier to discard the labels. In the meantime...I'm still happy to be just ME that likes spanking!

I say who cares where spanking fits... spend more time enjoying who you are and less time worrying about what you are. In my opinion if you do that the labels will take care of themselves and it will not matter in the slightest where spanking fits!

Stripes.

[Billy Wizz]

Welcome to the site Stripes

I guess the answer to your question is that we are tribal pack animals and we like to be in little groups of people where we fill comfortable. So wanting to know where you fit is just part human nature.

In any case it something to talk about between spanking lovely bottoms.

Billy

[StripesTO]

Thanks for the welcome Billy.

You are right about us wanting to fit into groups. I am happy to be part of this group and already feel comfortable!



Stripes.

[One_Slick_Joker]

Hats off to you BV. I could not agree more with your answer to this thread.



-OSJ

P.S. I'm glad you kicked that pneumonia pal-I was praying for you.

To me, spanking is where someone is hitting someone else's bottom! BDSM is a wide range of bondage, discipline, submission, dominance, sadism, masochism and probably some other things.

I think it's really fluid though. In my travels through the internet I find spanking sites that have things I don't like and BDSM sites that have stuff that really turn me on. But I would say that I'm more into spanking and submission than I'm into bdsm if I had to slap a label on myself.