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  #1  
Old 01-19-2008, 05:24 PM
Kyra's Avatar
Kyra Kyra is offline
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No means no...

I had a guy try doing spanking stuff I frankly didn't want to do.

He was going to far and was being un-safe. It got to the point when I repeatedly said no and had to actually push myself away pushing against him hurting him.

He was pissed and then upset. I don't care. I like people who are in complete control. But I think it's important to find someone who knows your limits. And is safe. Also someone who knows exactly what you want and won't leave you with doupts. Then again maybe there is no such ideal partner we all screw up once in a while. So thats what happens anyway. If I say no guys I mean it.
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  #2  
Old 01-20-2008, 02:16 AM
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Adelina Adelina is offline
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Location: Erie PA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyra View Post
I had a guy try doing spanking stuff I frankly didn't want to do.

He was going to far and was being un-safe. It got to the point when I repeatedly said no and had to actually push myself away pushing against him hurting him.

He was pissed and then upset. I don't care. I like people who are in complete control. But I think it's important to find someone who knows your limits. And is safe. Also someone who knows exactly what you want and won't leave you with doupts. Then again maybe there is no such ideal partner we all screw up once in a while. So thats what happens anyway. If I say no guys I mean it.
Do you think a safeword might have helped here?
I am right on board with no-means-no, but since a lot of subs say no when they mean yes, as part of the 'game' or even real reluctance to go through with a punishment, safewords can help clear up that kind of confusion. Not saying this dude wasn't wrong, but I think it's this kind of situation that safewords were created for. They're not just for physical reasons, but psychological or emotional as well.
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  #3  
Old 01-20-2008, 06:24 AM
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Kyra Kyra is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adelina View Post
Do you think a safeword might have helped here?
I am right on board with no-means-no, but since a lot of subs say no when they mean yes, as part of the 'game' or even real reluctance to go through with a punishment, safewords can help clear up that kind of confusion. Not saying this dude wasn't wrong, but I think it's this kind of situation that safewords were created for. They're not just for physical reasons, but psychological or emotional as well.
Well I do agree that safe words are important. As much as I hate using them. I don't honestly think a safe word would have helped I made it very clear I didn't want it and got out of the mood on a few occasions to talk to him about it before hand. I think some people just won't listen, Even to safe words.

But in anycase laying down a safe word before hand in future would be a good idea thanks for the surgestion.
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  #4  
Old 01-29-2008, 03:27 AM
spankinghurts spankinghurts is offline
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I'm both a top and a bottom. As a top, there was a time where i was spanking someone, but i just was really tired, and i didn't want to make a butt red.

As a bum myself, I remember getting almost thrown across someone's knee, and I knew I was going to REALLY get it. I always enjoyed getting paddled, belted, and getting done with the hand. I always liked it on the bare, too, but i really wasn't in the mood.
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