Sticks and Stones...

Adelina · #1 01-09-2007, 06:32 AM

...may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!

Or will they? Does it matter to you how your spankings are verbally framed? Are there any words or phrases that negatively affect your perceptions of spanking sessions?

The context is this: Once upon a time, I was discussing my disinterest in discipline, explaining that while I do not engage in punishment for doing something wrong, I -do- very much appreciate release spanking to ease my anxiety about having made a mistake.

Punishment for wrongdoing vs. release from anxiety. I see them as two entirely different things. The other fellow pointed out that since the end result would look identical, these two scenarios were actually the same, and the words attached did not matter.

Do words matter to you?

wkp · #2 01-09-2007, 11:31 AM

Being new to the spanking scene I am learning lots of new words. I don't really feel comfortable using most of them. It's probably just my newness, but I find it pretty easy to use every day, non-spanko words to articulate my thoughts. Maybe I will adopt the vernacular as I speng more time around it. I just know I need to feel comfortbale with the words I use. I guess that means words do matter to me.

iggy · #3 01-09-2007, 11:38 AM

Oh I think words matter a whole lot. Words set up a frame of mind, tone and atmospher and what one person likes another might not.

For example...if someone started calling me "bitch" or "slut" or "whore" or other types of things like that, that'd be pretty much it and it would go no further...but I know there are people who simply adore that type of talk.

I find I like words like "naughty" and well I like 'little' with almost anything...yet I do NOT think I am naughty or little...but I still like those words. Oh I like "wench" too...don't know why. Basically if the tone is teasing and lighthearted and fun I'd probably be OK with it...but if it starts getting disparaging or to be a put-down then I'm gonna turn into the ice queen real fast.

RG_ · #4 01-09-2007, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adelina

...pointed out that since the end result would look identical, these two scenarios were actually the same, and the words attached did not matter.

Well, you know that famous old quote about words and red things:

"A spanked bottom by any other name is still a spanked bottom."

nightowl · #5 01-09-2007, 09:20 PM

Adelina, I agree with you that words/wording is important. depending on WHY I'm getting spanked (punishment/discipline, stress release, or fun), wording sets the intent and thus my head space surrounding the spanking.

For instance, words like "naughty", "missy",with some talking/lecturing me about my misbehaviors is what I need to "forgive" myself.....and of course "good girl", is always nice to hear at the end of a punishment spanking. I also like the word "little" Iggy.

During a stress relief spanking I don't like to hear much talking at all, just the sound of my bottom getting spanked.....and going back to the "crying" thread, when I cry, I feel my anxiety and stress dissolve....

I also don't like derogatory words, and teasing words are always appropriate during a fun spanking....There does that answer the question?? LOL

spanked~amber · #6 01-09-2007, 10:32 PM

Words are definatly a big deal in my book. I can take a scolding, and I have taken far worse(not by anyone in my present adult spanking world) but I have always disagreed with the saying "Sticks & stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me." In my opinion, which might not mean a lot, they all hurt and words can leave scars too. Just because they aren't visible to the naked eye, doesn't mean they aren't there. Okay I'm through preachin' now

BlackVelvet007 · #7 01-10-2007, 12:03 AM

Amber, your opinion means plenty.

And yes, words hit harder than a fist. When the scene is discipline, or discipline roleplay, I always watch my tongue closely because the potential for emotional pain far outweighs the strength of my arm (and I'm no slouch in the arm department).

katy_spankwish · #8 01-10-2007, 12:17 AM

This is probably not a politcally correct response but I think it is a gender issue. Words tend to mean more to women in general. I know they do to me. Yes the physical result is still a sore red bottom but the emotional result is very different depending on what is said and how.

RG_ · #9 01-10-2007, 05:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katy_spankwish

This is probably not a politcally correct response but I think it is a gender issue.

As a general statement, I agree, katy. I would also note that when playing, not real discipline, some guys just have a gift for words, and the one that comes to mind is Richard Windsor/Houndog. He has the gift of presentation. I'm sure that his British accent contributes to that.

There's another that I know, the hubby of a mutual friend of ours, who has probably the biggest gift of words from a spontaneity standpoint that I've heard. The guy is funny and a barrel of laughs to listen to. Both are very different in style, and yet both are memorable in their use of words.

All this spoken from a third party observer's standpoint, of course. I'm sure that the chemistry is different if you're on the recipient side of the issue.

Gary D. · #10 01-10-2007, 07:29 AM

The importance of words and how they are structured / delivered cannot be under stressed.........especially in discipline. I think this topic ties in well with the previous one about crying. How many people have unsuccessfully tried to bring about crying with only an increase in the intensity or sheer number of spanks, when a few well delivered words combined with the "regular amount" of spanking would have done the trick? Words are also a great addition, as well as a neccessity, to a very intense / satisfying role-play scenario.

Gary D.