NEw Member

[writerGuy]

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm a guy in a committed relationship, we're just not married (yet). She's not into spakning, but I am. We talked and agreed that I could find a spanking partner (spankee?) and she is fine with it. I've found someone and we started a very fun, non-sexual, punishment spanking relationship.

I'm here to chat with other like minded folks, maybe learn more about spanking and techniques, as despite my interest I'm really quite new to giving spankings.

[Farmgirl]

I'm not going to be much help to you, but thought you might appreciate my viewpoint anyway. I'm a female bottom and have been, I think, since childhood. I am also in a committed relationship (marriage) and have been for nearly 19 years.

I have never been able to separate spanking and sex. Spanking to me is an erotic foreplay leading to sex. I was spanked as a child, as punishment; but for most of the last 19 years, it's been purely erotic. So I don't see how you can have a spanking relationship with one woman and a sexual one with another woman. That simply wouldn't work with me. My guy and I decided early on that he wouldn't allow another man to spank me any more than he would allow another man to have regular sex with me, so closely intertwined did we both find those two things.

However, I've been surprised before by how some people seem to be able to separate the two, and maybe you're one of them.

[writerGuy]

Originally Posted by Farmgirl

I'm not going to be much help to you, but thought you might appreciate my viewpoint anyway. I'm a female bottom and have been, I think, since childhood. I am also in a committed relationship (marriage) and have been for nearly 19 years.

I have never been able to separate spanking and sex. Spanking to me is an erotic foreplay leading to sex. I was spanked as a child, as punishment; but that hasn't been the case for most of the last 19 years, it's been erotic. So I don't see how you can have a spanking relationship with one woman and a sexual one with another woman. That simply wouldn't work with me. My guy and I decided early on that he wouldn't allow another man to spank me any more than he would anybody else to have regular sex with me, so closely related did we both find those things.

Nevertheless, I've been surprised before by how other people seem to be able to separate the two, and maybe you're one of them.

I totally get where you're coming from. Personally I prefer to keep them separate. For me a punishment spanking, while intimate, is about the punishment, and going from that into sex would feel weird to me. I can't quite articulate why, but if I figure it out I'll let you know. While spanking is a turn on, I prefer the two to be kept separate, and so does my bottom. This way my relationship with my bottom is all about the power and authority and not sex.

We're still kinda new to this, so I'll let you know if anything changes.