Aftercare Question

[sarah thorne]

Prepare yourselves; this is long!

Most of us know about the standard aftercare for a spanking: rub, maybe a bit of arnica, a bit of cuddles, and feel better.

With some spankings we need less of this. I know, for me, after a playful spanking where RG and I have been wrestling around or a spanking giving during erotic times that are part of or lead up to sex that I do not need any "official" aftercare, so to speak. I can only surmise that the emotional context of a specific spanking plays a part.

For instance, on the rare occasions that I am actually truly disciplined as part of the DD we practice, I find that I do need quite a bit of reassurance and physical closeness afterwards. After a more formal punishment that is usually given when a very serious infraction has been breached, RG has laid on the bed with me, sometimes for up to an hour, just holding me and stroking my back or hair until I come out of my after-punishment funk, and then we get up and go on our merry way. I may be more subdued than normal, but I don't need much more "care"

On the more spur-of-the-moment discipline spankings, I usually get a bit of an attitude and don't want him to touch me. I'll turn my head away when he goes to kiss me after I've curled up under the blankets and scooted as far away from him as I can get.

What has my mind a bit boggled is my reaction to spankings given for anxiety or stress relief. Specifically the last one I received, in which the reaction to aftercare was the strongest I've had yet.

The anxiety/stress relief spankings are not punishment but usually have the serious air about them that a discipline spanking would have. It's most certainly NOT a play or erotic spanking. However, usually whenever RG finally catches wind that I am in dire need of this kind of spanking and decides to administer it, my emotional level is waaaaay out of whack.

I am actually a very emotionally controlled individual, meaning I have pretty good control of my emotions (NOT that I am controlled by emotions - quite the opposite, really). But I also struggle a bit with mild anxiety (ok, sometimes it FEELS like severe, but it's not!) - and sometimes, just sometimes, my normally calm and organized self gets into a real frenzy.

So, does this long winded rant have a point? Of course it does - and a question too!

This last time when I received one of these stress relief spankings (the description of which you can find on our joint blog), afterwards I was in severe need of physical and emotional touch. I am not normally a touchy-feely person. But for days, not hours but days afterwards, I was constantly snuggling up to him while we watched tv (not normal), touching him, hugging him, and just simply reaching my hand over in bed to just touch his arm and have that contact. RG was really good about this too -- I am not normally so emotionally and physically needy, and this lasted about three days.

I can only imagine the kind of sub drop I would have gotten had RG and I not lived together.

So, my questions are these;

does anyone else go through this kind of thing (or have a spankee that does) after a spanking that depletes you/them emotionally?

How long does it last?

Have you had it happen with any other kind of spanking that is not so emotionally charged?

What do you attribute it to if it happens with some spankings but not others?

What kinds of things do you need at this time to keep you grounded after such a highly charged emotional spanking experience?

Long post over.

sarah

[Batman]

Speaking from a spanker's state of mind, I also find it comforting to me to yield some form of aftercare to a spankee whether it's rubbing or a reassuring hug. I just need to do something that shows her my gentler side. I'm not sure why this need is there, but, I think it has something to do with my general attitude towards women and wanting to do just about anything and everything for them.

The aftercare also gives my body a chance to slow down and relax. This is important because giving a spanking frequently is my form of stress relief just as much as it is relieving stress for the spankee.