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#11
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Welcome aboard Anna. Nice to have you here. I wish I had advice to share, but I do know a lot of folks here sympathize and will hopefully have answers for you.
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#12
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I too have a vanilla husband--well, in the spanko sense, at least. He's actually a bottom within a different fetish category, but is not the least bit interested in spanking. He does, however, understand my need, and is open to me exploring on my own. He's even given pre-emptive forgiveness should anything get out of control and go too far, though I don't intend for that to happen. He's just too important to me.
This type of partner seems to be a very rare breed, and I know that I am extremely lucky to have him. Given the disposable view that many modern people have of marriage, a lot of folks don't find it unreasonable to give up a vanilla partnership in order to seek a spanko replacement. Not that I'm not realistic; for sure, divorce is at times very well-merited, and it's a big step for women to have a way out of marriages that our predecessors were doomed to endure. It's worth looking at what attracted you to this person in the first place, especially if the kink wasn't involved. There must have been something which connected you. Then, the task is to weigh these things and decide which is more important, more meaningful and fulfilling for you. It's very possible that you could find the spanko man of your dreams... only to discover that he too leaves the toilet seat up and won't take out the garbage. Reality can be a real downer. I don't want people to be stuck in a relationship that isn't good. But be sure to take time and make sure that what you're giving up is worth the risk of not finding something better. |
#13
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thanks...and, for the record...i'm really not looking to leave my husband...
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#14
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Quote:
AnnaP, First off, welcome to MSF. Your question is an age-old dilemna. The answers given to you so far seem to reflect what the majority of folks think. A lot of us have been in your exact situation. I for one have had this happen more than once in my life and it never gets easier. Most of us have not been as fortunate as Adelina, who has a partner who is very open to pursuing this interest. I do agree with her take on it though. Different people handle it different ways. When we all figure this one out, we'll co-write a book and make lots of money! Gary |
#15
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I Know I would be first in line to buy if it is ever wrote
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#16
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I wanted to add another angle that I missed in my earlier post. You asked about conversion; while it's possible, don't get your heart set on it. If you're lucky, he'll come around and humor your preferences; but if he's not a "born" spanko, he probably won't ever have it oozing through his pores the way we do. It sounds like he's not real keen on the idea, so you'll have to tread pretty lightly and ease into the idea.
I recall reading an article on how to convert your vanilla partner, but I cannot remember where. If I find it, I'll let you know. I would caution against putting too much pressure on the issue. Since consent is such a big issue within our community, I feel it's only fair to extend that same courtesy to the vanillas in our lives, and not pressure people to do things that really make them uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure that if I whined enough or really demanded it, my husband would go along with me on my spanko ride; but I know how much it disturbs him and turns him off, and that makes it pretty unenjoyable for me, since I feed on the enthusiasm of my partner. |
#17
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Welcome, Anna. I agree with what everyone else is saying about the conversion idea. I have a friend who was so vanilla that even when his girlfriend was "curious" didn't want to take part in "hurting" her. So, she turned to my partner and myself to fulfill her curiosities. Oddly, after she decided she wasn't really interested, he started to swat her. I still don't think he'd give her a full-blown spanking though.
__________________
Batman Spanking The Bare Bottoms Of Female Brats As A Service To All Good Citizens |
#18
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HI Anna! I too have been interested in spanking most of my life. My spouse ,as yours,...not interested. She has tried it with me a few times. Didn't seem into it. I've found a few who seem very willing to give it to me good but I usually chicken out. After all it is the internet, you never know withstrangers. eventually ill go through with it though.
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