is it possible to convert a vanilla person?

[innocent_nympho]

hi guys,

I was wondering what your thoughts on the possibility of converting a vanilla individual into a willing spanking partner. most of us have had spanking fantasies since a young age, and i guess that makes us a little different from people that haven't really given it much thought. i know my boyfriend hasn't, save what he's seen in porn. (that's not real spanking though, just a slap on the ass once in a while. we do live in an ass worshiping society).

anyway, i've been trying to induct him into spanking but i don't think he gets off on dominating a girl in a manner that involves pain. at least i don't think he does. this is embarrassing, but i've gone through his internet search history and there have been no inquiries into spanking.

i'm feeling like things are a little hopeless right now, and i need a little booster.

does anyone have any personal stories they're willing to share of having converted a vanilla partner into a spankophile? and if you have, can you please tell me how you did it? i need tips!

thanks a bunch!

[Kyra]

Ok I've had a few spanking expeirences latly. Some good some not so good. A long time ago. I was in a kinda relationship with a guy. Who simply just wasn't into it.

I guess I found out because we talked alot. They looked it up and still said they didn't like it. So I surgested maybe they should try spanking me. So we did a few times. Hand spanking was rubbish with him because it didn't hurt and it felt like he was just slapping my butt. No real sexual pleasure even for me. And if implements where used he was having a little to much fun for my likling and using them too harshly.

So I thought ok this isn't working maybe we can turn this around. So I thought hay you know what? maybe he likes being spanked. I was wrong again. And I felt bad. He was in total pain and I was totally loving it. But it felt forced and not right.

However even if said boyfriend is not into it. That dosen't have to be the end of your relationship.
I had another boyfriend who would do mild trades with me. So I would do something for him he liked and he'd do tha same for me. Even if the other wasn't into it.

Also I recently liked a guy who was totally into it and just wouldn't admit it. He still won't now. Playing games always helps. I don't know how others do it. But I think if you make a game of it first and make it seem fun and a joke. Everything seems less scary. Then when you are taking things seriously the next time it will feel more natural. I think playing is really important so trying things like pinching and stuff or light slaps and turning that into a game worked for me.

I have alot of guy friends who have shown interest and who are limited to what they like. They're curiouse, I used to think being into this was something you either are into or not. But I have many friends who have changed and started to like it after knowing what it's about and understanding.

Talking always helps. ^_^ sorry for my ridiculously long reply.

[paully62]

I have a dear friend who refers to these folks as sprinkles. Be curious if she believes in true conversion.

[innocent_nympho]

lol sprinkles??? i'm sorry, the reference is totally lost on me. explain please!

[Jean-Paul]

I was married to a vanilla wife and she would spank me
occasionally because she knew I liked it.After a few years,
she admitted that she started to enjoy it and actually
initiated it once in a while.Especially when we were alone
in the woods (we hiked a lot in the Smoky Mountains)
She loved to cut a switch or two and apply it while I
hugged a tree or bent over a fallen log. I miss those hikes.

JP

[paully62]

keep tryin

[crafty69u]

I've converted many women. It depends on how long you've been with this guy. How open are you? If things are good, you should tell him what you really need. Does he pay attention to your ass, or ignore it? He may not be a butt man. You may have too start with frequent light spankings until he starts to understand how much it turns you on. Play with yourself during the spanking, and tell him you need it harder. Do not use implements, as he will not know how to use them properly and may hurt you. If her hurts you, he will not want to spank you again. Just make sure you tell him what you need.

[Kyra]

Originally Posted by paully62

I have a dear friend who refers to these folks as sprinkles. Be curious if she believes in true conversion.

Pardon? don't know what you mean.

[Mr. Compactness]

This an old thread, but being new here I thought I'd chime in.

I've been with my wife for 6 years and I'd say for 5 of those years she absolutely hated being spanked. Over the past year she's started to warm up to the idea, but only for forplay, and wasn't into being submissive, and then spankings were rather light and I felt like she was doing it more for me than because she actually liked it. She'd tell me she liked it, but her body language and other things made me feel otherwise.

Well recently, like within the last week, things hit a head where I felt like I NEEDED to have this connection with my partner. It's not just a fetish, it's a phsycal dynamic for me, and I felt like if she wasn't into it, I didn't know how this relationship would work. It's more than that just though that, I'd never break up with someone over something like this, but we were lacking any real connection or bond to begin with so that made things worse.

So finally I hit the edge and told her some really difficult things to say and we had the best discussion and opening up that we've ever had. To put the other points we were working on aside, I brought up spanking again, and she said "I DO like it, you just don't believe me when I say I do". I said "You don't act like you like it. A few hard slaps and you're ready to get off my lap, and afterwards, it's like never happened and seems to mean nothing to you. Your demeanor doesn't change afterward. So she says "Well If I hated it, I'd tell you, and I wasn't trying to get up, I was squirming, and it's YOUR job to pin me down".

So after talking more, she DOES like being submissive for a spanking, wants to try domestic discipline, and stress relief/maintenance spankings. She said a few things though:

1) It took her years to get used to the idea.

2) Part of why she didn't warm up to it quicker is because she was afraid that it would be the only thing I'd want, or we HAD to have it as forplay before sex etc..

3) She was afraid I'd want to spank her daily and be upset if she didn't want that.

To me all those concerns are reasonable. I think all spankos have some limits as far as how often they are spanked and in what context, and I was glad she shared that with me. The most important thing is that it's something we connect with and understand together. She must have done her research because when I talked about domestic discipline and submitting etc.. she already knew what I was talking about.

The only night I tested her limits more than I ever have with a hard hand spanking, the belt, and a blind rod. She loved it and I could tell, but not until afterwards. The only thing was she hated the blind rod because well I have no experience with it and either didn't warm her up properly, didn't use correct form or just hit her too damn hard beause she wound up with some nasty bruises. The bruises and the strokes that caused the bruises are what she hates about it..other than that, she liked it she said.

A big part of it is, I'm letting her spank me too. I've kinda always been a switch, but I think that's a fair balance of power for both of us and it maks herfeel more comfortable.

Now I don't know if I can all my wife a "spanko". She said she doesn't think about it much, mostly beause she has other things on her mind on a daily basis, and while she might look at website with me, she wouldn't go on her own to look.

But if by definition she's not a true spanko, she's right behind the line of being one.

[Chuckles]

Originally Posted by paully62

I have a dear friend who refers to these folks as sprinkles. Be curious if she believes in true conversion.

Originally Posted by innocent_nympho

lol sprinkles??? i'm sorry, the reference is totally lost on me. explain please!

I'm not psychic, but here's my interpretation: Non-spankos are usually referred to as vanillas. If you extend that reasoning, dedicated spankos would be chocolates and those on the brink might be called chocolate sprinkles on a vanilla base.