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Old 05-09-2008, 06:33 PM
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qttink22 qttink22 is offline
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When She Thought Nobody Was Watching

Hi Everyone! This is my first attempt at story-writing... Feel free to give honest feedback. I hope you enjoy it! The second half will be posted in about two minutes...


I don't really know what had me so out of sorts on this particular day. Nothing had gone horribly wrong that I can think of. But I was feeling especially irritable and I knew it probably wouldn't take much for me to say or do something I'd regret. Still, I ignored my instinct that told me to stay home and I went to the party anyway. Sarah was the only one there who I knew. She had invited me thinking I might meet a few people. I had just moved into the area and she thought I seemed like the type of person who would fit in well with her friends. I've never been the best at meeting new people...I'm a little on the shy side I guess...so for the first hour or so I mostly just watched and listened as Sarah and her friends laughed and enjoyed the evening.



I had been so nervous before the party that I hadn't been able to eat, so I was really hungry. There was a table with several kinds of desserts on it closeby, but I wasn't in the mood for something sweet. I looked around, but was too afraid to ask somebody if there was anything other than dessert. Finally I saw it...across the room on a small table was a tray that must have previously been full of those little appetizer sandwiches that are often served at social gatherings...but there was only one left. I was so hungry...if that was the only one left, I had better get it quickly. As I was walking across the room, I saw from the corner of my eye that there was someone else heading the same direction. She was cute, blonde, sweet looking...and couldn't possibly want that sandwich as badly as I did. I guess the polite thing to do would have been to stop and let her have it, but instead I pretended I didn't see her and...that sandwich was mine.



As I eagerly took my first bite I looked up. There was a man standing not far from me. I hadn't seen him until now, but it appeared that he had been watching me...at least long enough to see what I had just done. He gave me this look that said, "I saw that and I don't approve." I stopped mid-bite...I had been caught. I hadn't thought anyone was watching, but I was sadly mistaken. He started walking toward me and my heart began pounding. I had no idea who he was or why he had taken an interest in me, and yet somehow he had a presence about him that made me feel like a little girl who had just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. He walked right up in front of me with a gentle, yet stern look in his eyes, and said, "Now that's no way for a lady to behave, is it?" Words eluded me for a moment. I gulped, swallowing that first...and what would end up being the last bite of my sandwich. My appetite was instantly completely diminished. I somehow managed to stammer, "Oh...I uh...well I was just..." He shook his head slightly as if to say, "Hush...no excuses." I continued, "I was just hungry!" "We all get hungry sometimes, young lady, but that's no excuse for rudeness." I found myself wondering why I was letting this stranger who I had never met before talk this way to me, but for some unexplained reason, it just felt right. "What's your name?" he asked me...he asked tenderly, but there was no question that I had better answer him. "Kendra. I'm Kendra." "Nice to meet you, Kendra. I'm James, and I think you and I should talk more about this a little later." I wondered to myself...is he serious? And before I could answer he pointed, "Second door on the right...in twenty minutes...don't be late," and he turned and walked away.



I was stunned for a moment, not sure whether to believe that had really just happened, and I pondered in my mind what James, a man who had never met me before in his life, could possibly have to say about a simple little snack. The thought had me feeling slightly nervous, but I was also feeling a strange flutter of excitement that had me a little perplexed. That next twenty minutes seemed to last for hours. I turned around and saw that Sarah was walking toward me..."There you are Kendra! You disappeared all of a sudden...where'd you go?" I snapped back to reality. "Oh, I was just hungry. I went looking for something to eat." She started to pull me toward another room in the house. "Come on! Let's go dance! There are some really hot guys in there!" I hesitated. "Wait...I don't know...I've never met any of them...I can't just walk up to them and start dancing!" In my mind I was trying to come up with some sort of excuse that would sound reasonable to Sarah, all the while thinking about the fact that I was pretty sure I should take James seriously when he said, "Don't be late." I couldn't tell Sarah what I was doing, though. I was sure she would think it was totally bizarre. My excuses didn't seem to phase her. "Oh come on," she said as she grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the dance floor. "They're all nice. They won't bite." I couldn't seem to pull away without making it obvious that I had other plans, so I went along...maybe just one dance would be okay.



Being out on the dance floor was much more fun than I had imagined it would be! I got lost in the music and the people around me, and then suddenly the clock on the wall caught my eye. "Oh no!" I thought to myself. "Twenty-three minutes!" I was supposed to have met James in that room down the hall already. I looked at Sarah suddenly and said loudly enough for her to hear me over the music, "I'll be back...I have to use the restroom," and I hurried away before she could try to stop me. When I got to the second room on the right, the door was cracked open. Should I knock? Should I just go in? As if he had heard my thoughts, James said from inside the room, "Is that you Kendra? Please come in." ...cont'd in Part 2
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Old 03-03-2013, 03:10 PM
alexskanda alexskanda is offline
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Fantastic start, really builds up the sense of the personalities and atmosphere.
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