Why don't you just ask?

[Franklymydear]

Hi all,
Here's my question. If you're in a spanking relationship, and want a good session, why don't you just ask?
I've found asking beats the heck out of bratting or messing up to get one. And It's quite nice when My partner tells me she needs her stress relieved in that special way.

And in online play, I think that it is very comforting to just ask and find out if the other person is interested. I hate having to dance around to find out if I'm gonna play.
Just a thought.

[Winking Goddess]

Because asking feels like topping from the bottom....and I hate topping from the bottom....so I post that I am going to be somewhere and I hope that a certain friendly spanker shows up....and he does....and takes me away and over his knee in record time...I hate asking. I also want to feel desired. But one time I did ask. It was because I learned that a man that I play with and I get along much better after we have physically expressed our relationship - and he physically dominates me....I wrote about it...here it is...for your enjoyment...

Over His Knee at Harbin....

It had occurred to me, that I do so much better with DK - his emotional dominance of me - if he physically dominates me before we co exist in our time together. It is as if I need some kind of setting down before we enter our time together. Our interactions are much better - there is less conflict - I am softer and more mellow after a good hard spanking, or any physical expression of his dominance. I have started to observe how if we just go into social time without physical time - we simply do not do as well without the physical connection coming first. DK and I have an incredibly powerful physical connection, and in many ways it is the framework on which we have built everything else.



Our bodies need to talk first, and it sets the tone for the entire day.



The last day in Harbin I shared this observation with DK. And he agreed. We were getting along so much better after a big PSI session - where we were physically able to act out and express our roles - before emotionally engaging in them. I had suggested that before we leave Harbin for the day - that he give me an over the knee spanking. Just that. And let’s see how the day goes for us.

DK thought that this would be a good idea too. So we got up on our last day and did yoga together. Then we sat out on the porch of the restaurant and had a lovely breakfast.



We had to check out by noon - but we still could use the facilitates until 5pm.

"Do you want your paddling now? Or shall we pack up the car first?" He asked.

I could feel myself blushing. This was very different - this medicinal, pre meditative spanking. I was not used to this...he usually just grabs me and takes me. Here I was simply offering myself up in a very different kind of way.

"Why don’t we paddle, then load the car and go to the baths....."

"Sounds good..."



And off we went, back to the cabin. I was beside myself. I felt so very awkward. He pulled up a chair and dug out a few paddles. I could see the leather one, the wooden one....and my soft leather one. I grabbed a second chair to hold onto, and he offered me a pillow to scream into.

I was standing. He was sitting. Okay, I guess that this is where I drop my draws and drape myself over his lap. My face was as pink as my bottom was about to be. This was really hard.

I took off my pants and left my shirt on. We were pretty clear. We were not going to make love. I was simply going to receive his dominance, and experience my submission to him through this spanking. I bent myself over and settled myself across his lap. I rested my head on the pillow, and gripped the back of the chair.



I could feel his hands on my ass. They were firm, holding and squeezing my bottom. I had not been over his knee in a very long time. We usually do not find ourselves in this kind of position. I liked feeling his body so close to mine...the contact between his lap and my belly. I could feel his breath. There is something way more intimate about an over the knee spanking than a spanking bench.



Soon, the squeezing of my flesh, turned to light spanking which deepened quickly to a pattern and depth that started to make me grunt. DK was getting serious. I could feel him run the edges of his leather paddle of my ass. I could feel my own body respond to "the knowing" of it’s arrival.

The thwacks and whacks of the paddling began - and soon I was just a body of breath and sensation. There is something very cathartic and delicious about a good, hard spanking - and nothing more. Simply making the spanking the main event.



The sensations were getting very deep - and I was starting to be aware of my voice. I was beginning to make noise...I was beginning to kick my legs just a little. Harbin is not a private place. Our windows were open...and people were hanging out on the lawns around our cabin. I was trying not to make too much noise....but the spanking was getting very intense. There was a wooden staircase that went by our cabin....past one of our windows....close to where I was getting spanked. I could see out the window if I turned my head just right. And I was facing in that direction when I heard feet begin to climb the stairs while the spanking was gaining intensity. I was beginning to beg. "Please DK....Please....OW...OW...." I did not like that wooden paddle. It bit like the teeth of a lion. It was getting harder to control myself. I could see the feet outside of our window. The sound of the paddle..and my pleas and grunts made the feet stop in it’s path.



They were yellow Keds. They were big. I watch the feet pause...turn to face our window...I looked down. I didn’t want to come eye to eye with whoever it was who was stopped by the sounds of the paddle...and my cries. The feet felt like they were there forever. And then they started again to make their climb up the stairs past our cabin.



I am sure that there is someone, somewhere - with a story to tell.

When my spanking was done, my ass felt like it was on fire. I felt a sob escape my lips. I left his lap and went to my knees. I rested my head on his lap - while he stroked my hair for a bit. There was this moment of bliss. I felt so totally surrendered and opened. I felt relief in my body. My bottom felt red hot and swollen. I got up...looked at my ass in the mirror....oh yes...I was going to be quite something naked in the baths.....the girl with the red ass...



And I was right AND happy! Mark your calendar! We had a blissful day together that last day. Even when he was a creep...and of course he was....it was mostly okay...or managable.

[ScarletFanny]

I feel asking for it outright is ideal some of the time and bratting or acting naughty to get it is alright part of the time. Variety is the spice of life and to do all one thing or all the other would end up becoming stale, boring and even pensive. It also depends on how much you get spanked when it isn't your idea in the first place such as he decides to spank you for maintenance. You agree to it but, you may have not originated the plan. So, if you are already getting an ample amount of spanking, you may not need to necessarily ask for it and may want to just act all bratty to get a fun one once in a while. But, if you've had maybe a very stressful day at work and really want to have some therapising to unwind and to let all the tension slip from you and you aren't scheduled for maintenance or desire extra on top of it, then by all means ask for it. I have to comment here about our scene and how much I love it. I love that we have some of the most varietal of relationships with all the lovely flavours to explore either lightly or heavily and how much fun we truly have. You go to a vanilla party and it's yawn city most times but, come to one of ours and you get a group of people who are some of the funnest to be around. Also, I find that we have a much more heightened realisation of our sexuality, our bodies, our emotions and are very intellectual people. I truly believe that if you want the most out of your spanking life and relationships, you'll excercise multiple options and enjoy all of them. Live it to the fullest, sample much and then hang on to what you love.