Secret of the Star Child--Part one

[Kate]

Bethany had long been dissatisfied with the direction her life had taken. On the surface, things weren’t so bad. She wasn’t married, she was 35, but she’d decided that for right now she’d rather just own herself and have a sex life that she’d chosen, not was obligated to. That, unfortunately, wasn’t working out too well these days.

There was an emptiness in her that she tried to fill by work, but the gym, but activities with friends, but nothing was seeming to fill it. Her church going acquaintances tried to convince her that the answer was to give herself to God, but she had yet to find one that suited her, so she’d turn down their invitations to attend church.

It wasn’t that she wasn’t productive. Maybe her job didn’t suit her as well as she liked, but neither did she mind it. She worked hard, made a nice enough salary—more would be nice, but a desire for a lot of money didn’t drive her. She did charity and volunteer events—AIDS walk, MS walks, Breast Cancer Walks, volunteering at women’s shelters, and made a monthly contribution to United Way. She was doing all of the things that her family had wanted her to do and they were proud of her but she secretly was embarrassed by the compliments, feeling she really wasn’t doing all that much.

But something still seemed to be missing, though she could not quite put a finger on it. The inside Bethany felt that there had to be something more to her life, even if the Bethany that people saw on the outside was someone that people seemed to genuinely like and even a few admired.

Her friend Annie was over one night and inevitably the conversation drifted to the one subject she’d dare broach to no one—she felt like a fraud. It surprised her that Annie did not seem surprised and it shocked her more than a little. She had expected Annie to disagree with her, and even lecture her about not realizing just what she had.

Annie was lovely: golden haired, violet eyes, and a mouth women would pay for silicon to duplicate. She rested her head on her hand and then spoke, carefully measuring her words.

“Beth, I’m not surprised. You’re voicing out loud the same old complaint that many women dare not utter. And it would surprise you, or maybe not that men feel the same way too.”

“But the answer is so simple. You simply need to yield to your inner self, your inner desires. There is a place that each of us has in the world, and we must learn to repress out egos at times and submit to our true natures, we as women, and of course men must recognize their true natures, too.”

“Annie, what are you talking about? That sounds like some sort of cult nonsense. Werner Erhard redux. Of course I know my true nature. You’re talking nonsense, or maybe it’s the Margaritas.” They each had had at least two by now, and were working on the third.

“What if I told you about a place where men and women do seek out their true natures. And it’s no cult, not really. It’s people who meet, when they like, small groups, large ones, but the whole congregation meets only for special holidays, sort of like on a Pagan Calendar, or for the initiation of a new member. No money, no pledges, just a way of getting to truly know yourself.”

“You call me, Bethy, when you’re ready. You’ll be a little shocked and surprised at first, but when you find out how fulfilled you feel, you’ll drop all your preconceived notions.
Call me when you’re ready sweetie, and I’ll set things up.” Annie disappeared out the door, leaving Bethany feeling more than a little confused.