I'm new...with questions...

[AnnaP]

i'm new to this site, and relatively new to the "scene" as it were (i've only been spanked three times in my adult life and all of those experiences have taken place this past month)...although, i've been interested in spanking for as long as i can remember.

i'm married to a man who is NOT interested, and i'm wondering if anyone else is/has been in a similar situation? any tips for a successful conversion?

[Nomad]

AnnaP, I think I can understand your feeling as I am in the same boat. I am not sure it is possible to change someone into something they are not.

[AnnaP]

so...do you just live with it?

[Nomad]

I am still struggling with it. I am not sure if I will stay in the relationship due to my interests in spanking, or find the grass is or is not greener on the other side. Being that I am very unsure to leave a life I know behind without knowing what lies ahead is tough. I have other difficulties within my marrage that we are working on, and if these do not work out I know what I will be looking for. Some of our problems stem from my inerest and do not know. So basically for now yes I do just live with it. I do know there are other people that stay in these relationship, but explore the spanking outside of thier marriage.
Basically I can not tell you what I am doing or advise you as I am very confused at the time about this.

[aurora]

Anna, I think you'll find that the vanilla partner issue is one of the biggest connundrums our community faces. Especially for those who were married before they found others via the internet.

A lot carry the opinion that you can't convert someone into a spanko, maybe even most. There have been a few sucessful stories, though. Usually it comes with a lot of honesty and open communication. At the very least, in a loving and trusting relationship, the vanilla may at least try to entertain your desires, even if they don't understand. Some are closet spankos, and you might just awaken something fierce (in the good way!) inside.

Good luck, with whatever may happen!

Oh yeah, and welcome...

[AnnaP]

thanks for the insight...and for the welcome!

unfortunately, he's responded coldly when i've discussed it with him recently...

it's frustrating, b/c although i've had my first few experiences recently...the desire is strong and i really want to be pushed farther...can't a girl just get a spanking? is that too much to ask?!

[garyspk]

Originally Posted by AnnaP

i'm new to this site, and relatively new to the "scene" as it were (i've only been spanked three times in my adult life and all of those experiences have taken place this past month)...although, i've been interested in spanking for as long as i can remember.

i'm married to a man who is NOT interested, and i'm wondering if anyone else is/has been in a similar situation? any tips for a successful conversion?

AnnaP,

First off, welcome to MSF.

Your question is an age-old dilemna. The answers given to you so far seem to reflect what the majority of folks think. A lot of us have been in your exact situation. I for one have had this happen more than once in my life and it never gets easier. Most of us have not been as fortunate as Adelina, who has a partner who is very open to pursuing this interest. I do agree with her take on it though. Different people handle it different ways.

When we all figure this one out, we'll co-write a book and make lots of money!


Gary

[Nomad]

Originally Posted by garyspk

When we all figure this one out, we'll co-write a book and make lots of money!


Gary

I Know I would be first in line to buy if it is ever wrote

[Adelina]

I wanted to add another angle that I missed in my earlier post. You asked about conversion; while it's possible, don't get your heart set on it. If you're lucky, he'll come around and humor your preferences; but if he's not a "born" spanko, he probably won't ever have it oozing through his pores the way we do. It sounds like he's not real keen on the idea, so you'll have to tread pretty lightly and ease into the idea.

I recall reading an article on how to convert your vanilla partner, but I cannot remember where. If I find it, I'll let you know.

I would caution against putting too much pressure on the issue. Since consent is such a big issue within our community, I feel it's only fair to extend that same courtesy to the vanillas in our lives, and not pressure people to do things that really make them uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure that if I whined enough or really demanded it, my husband would go along with me on my spanko ride; but I know how much it disturbs him and turns him off, and that makes it pretty unenjoyable for me, since I feed on the enthusiasm of my partner.

[Batman]

Welcome, Anna. I agree with what everyone else is saying about the conversion idea. I have a friend who was so vanilla that even when his girlfriend was "curious" didn't want to take part in "hurting" her. So, she turned to my partner and myself to fulfill her curiosities. Oddly, after she decided she wasn't really interested, he started to swat her. I still don't think he'd give her a full-blown spanking though.