Crying

[sarah thorne]

Originally Posted by persephone

real, involuntary crying shows extreme vulnerability, and in my relationship we play with that a lot and it appeals to me.

This appeals to me as well - but is also incredibly terrifying for me. It also shows a loss of control, and control is something in virtually all areas of my life that I try to maintain. My struggle with crying, or NOT crying, is deeply psychological and I have pondered quite at length for years over it.

Shall I give the short answer or long answer....?

Short answer is this: I resist crying at all costs. I resist expressing emotion to a great degree, and crying is an extreme form of emotion expression.

I like the idea of being able to cry freely without care of how vulnerable it makes me.

I don't believe I have ever really cried after a spanking. I have been tearful - and RG defines this as crying - but when I think of crying, I think of --- well, crying. lol. Sobs. Not necessarily hysterical, but sobbing and free flowing tears. In the rare times that I have cried by my own definition, I have been careful not to do it unless I was alone - and usually for very emotionally wrenching reasons, or because I feel a lack of control in a certain area of my life with no obvious way to regain that control.

Allowing the few tears to fall that I have has been a tremendous step - but as for feeling any kind of release or such from crying -- Nope, hasn't happened.

sarah