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Anna, I think you'll find that the vanilla partner issue is one of the biggest connundrums our community faces. Especially for those who were married before they found others via the internet.
A lot carry the opinion that you can't convert someone into a spanko, maybe even most. There have been a few sucessful stories, though. Usually it comes with a lot of honesty and open communication. At the very least, in a loving and trusting relationship, the vanilla may at least try to entertain your desires, even if they don't understand. Some are closet spankos, and you might just awaken something fierce (in the good way!) inside.
Good luck, with whatever may happen!
Oh yeah, and welcome...
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