Oh Emmy....honey you've had some harsh blows of late...my heart goes out to you.

As I've posted before, it is simply not possible for vanillas to "understand" our interest. It isn't in their frame of reference. Its like trying to explain sunsets to someone who was born blind or trying to explain Eric Clapton to someone who was born deaf....there isn't a starting point for them.....

That being said, understanding is no subsitute for acceptance. I'll be honest...I don't "understand" bondage. I don't "understand" leather fetish. I don't "understand" foot worship. But I am tolerant and accepting of those who do and I give them my tolerance and acceptance without condition and without judgement.

Remember that your mother is going through the stages of shock, denial, etc. I hope that eventually she will arrive at the stage of acceptance that this is who you are and what you are about.

Hurry down here to Texas for some hugs and reassurance from your spanko family....see you soon.