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It's not just men who get in trouble for this. Happens to me occasionally, too.
I have a tendancy to call everyone "love", "hon", or something along those lines. Not strangers, of course. They mostly always get "Sir" or "Ma'am", especially in vanilla life situations. In D/s situations, I'm a "yes, Sir" girl. That only applies for MY Dom, or Tops/Doms whom have earned my respect, though... The others are likely to get a pet name or something akin to "love" and "hon".
It's NEVER meant as disrespect or insult, and never intended as condenscending. It's just an unconscious message of familiarity and affection when formal titles are inappropriate, or unexpected.
You're right, though. Some people do take offense to it. I've been called to task on it a few times. I'm always stunned, and a little hurt by the vehement reaction to my warm gesture. It's just because my head doesn't work that way, so I can't quite fathom it. I've just got to try and remember who takes offense so I can respect their opinion, and pray I don't step on any toes.
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