I have to be honest, when someone in a dominant role (top, spanker, Dom, whatever the term is that you prefer), who I do not know and have a friendship with, uses a term such as "sweetie" or "honey" I feel a little offended.
From people I know and care about, it's not an issue, but if someone I don't know where to come up to me and say "Hello young lady" I'd probably walk away or "You look like a naughty little girl". It's the same as you wouldn't go up and hug someone you didn't know. I think terms of endearment should be saved for people who you care about and who care about you.
My often often refers to me as: love, hon, sweetie, etc. When he introduces me to his friends he says "This is my girl _____" and I'm not offended. I am his girl. I am a girl, there are no two ways around that, but that doesn't mean I am not a woman. I am a girl, that is my gender
although "My girl" is a term of endearment, in how he uses it. Or he also often introduces me as his "sweetie". These all make me smile and my eyelashes flutter and I feel very loved. If a stranger or someone that I just started talking to online started using these terms, I would not only be a tad offended, but a little creeped out.
While spanking me he often calls me "girl" - similar to "young lady" as in "Stop fidgeting girl" or "Feet down, girl" and it's just our form of "young lady" (which he uses as well).
At the same time I am very much a woman, and his partner, and I never feel insulted by these terms. There are also lots of close friends of mine who I don't mind when they use these terms.
Being told "Good girl" when I've done something good wouldn't be a bad thing, but if it was the common answer, I'd start to feel like a dog or other animal. My boyfriend often says "I'm proud of you" or "You make me proud" or something, although if he's spanking me and I do as I'm told he softly says "Now that's a good girl" or "Good girl"
On another note - I use terms of endearment as well. There are a few very close older female mentors in my life who I sometimes call my other mom and refer to as Mama sometimes. I often (90% of the time) refer to my boyfriend as daddy. Even outside of "scenes" I'll usually say "Thank you daddy" or to get his attention "daddy!" (if we're not around people). While being spanked it is either daddy or sir - although I often use sir more often than daddy unless I am feelin' little. And often I refer to him as my man or the boss. To each their own.
Very fascinating as everyone has a different take on it, just like spanking, because of personal preferences.