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This is an interesting topic.
First off, as a Top, I support Aurora's view that it's a lot more exciting and interesting to *not have to negotiate every scene to the mind-numbing point. Spontaneity is wonderful, in the correct context and setting -- meaning, a spanking party. Grabbing a woman on the street would be the wrong context or setting!
Next, chemstry comes into the picture. At a party, I think sassy come-backs, flirting, and non-verbal signs, can lead to a good scene. Sometimes you just know a lady is wanting a spanking -- so you take her in hand, and make sure through her reactions that she's agreeable to getting one. The chemistry, the connection, are there.
I believe the spanker's sense and experience have to come into play. Some ladies like to brat during a scene, and a spanker can scold during the verbal back and forth. Other women do not like to say much in a scene -- they want to feel, not talk. So you have to be able to read body language and reactions to different implements and intensity levels. But you may have to quietly ask about limits, how're you doing etc. That is understandable.
If a woman may be going into sub-space, you have to be careful -- she may not be able to verbalize real well. That might be a clue to back off a bit, not push the intensity, especially with someone you don't know well.
All of this can be dicey, and there are no guarantees that it's always going to work out great. But I believe if the chemistry feels right, it usually is. If not, don't push it or pursue.
-Michael
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