[friendlyspanker]

I found this exchange interesting because it touched on things that I think about.

For instance, while I've had an interest in spanking since high school, I haven't acted on it much, certainly not in the last few years. I guess a big reason for this is my confusion over the concepts of safe and sane.

Spanking sane? I want to think so as long as it is practiced in the context of a safe and consenual adult connection.

But I made the mistake recently of telling an "open-minded" friend about my interest. The reply? Spanking isn't kinky; it's abuse.

I felt hurt and angry by the reply, especially since this friend has a history of speaking out against closed-minded people and discrimination against "normal" people who don't conform to societal expectations in every regard.

But a part of me also wonders if my special interest is normal. Sometimes I even grab hold of external references to reassure myself. My favorite reference? "The Joy of Sex," a book as mainstream as it comes, and which contains words and picture documenting the normal adult sexual pleasure of spanking.

Spanking safe? Again, I come down on the side of context. Trust and communication between consensual adults is the definition of safety.

But sometimes I enjoy viewing images of women with red bottoms and teary eyes and part of me wonders how I can call an activity that causes this safe.

From the tone of the exchanges, it sounds like you guys are more clear and comfortable than I am in connection with spanking.

So I guess I'm jealous of your peace of mind.

Happy holidays,

Friendly Spanker