Quote:
Originally Posted by Adelina
I do have a legitimate need for release, and the ideal scenario would probably appear similiar to discipline, but I don't feel they are the same. I don't desire accountability for specific things; but I get worried about things, or get depressed, or just feel "off," and I feel like yelling or throwing things or punching someone in the head. Naturally, I do none of those things... so the tension just stays all smushed inside me and makes me jumpy and wound up and less attentive to my surroundings. I relish the notion of someone just grabbing me and spanking until my head clears out, or even just restraining me in a tight grip... and then I would be able to chill out and look at things rationally again. That would be a dream come true. But I don't think it quite fits into the discipline realm. It has more of a therapeutic slant.
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Adelina, this is exactly where the loosely used "bottom" or "submissive" comes in. You just need to find a "top" or "disciplinarian" that understands your needs. As I've put in other posts, there were many times that I didn't "decide" a punishment was in order, rather the girl I was with came to me and told me that she needed to be spanked and why. In fact that was how it went most of the time. Since we didn't live together there were many things I was unaware of and I certainly had no desire to try and keep an eye on anyone 24/7. When my spankee needed that release for whatever reason SHE would let ME know and from there we would work out the punishment. This is paramount to a healthy spanking relationship, the spankee is the one actually in control of the situation, but she (or he) transfers that control over to the spanker as needed. If your needs aren't the paramount concern of your spanker, it's time to find a new one. You have to build that kind of relationship where both parties needs are met, whether you have an actual relationship or just a spanking relationship.