Okay, so I finally decided to post my own reply to this. Sometimes we even need to give ourselves a healthy little reminder of who we really are...
I'm a lifestyle submissive. I say "lifestyle", because it's what I am and evidenced (ideally) in my daily life. It's not just a sex thing, or a kink thing. Now, this doesn't mean I'm a helpless waif, who can't stand independently or will submit to any Joe Schmoe because I can't say "no". It just means that I desire an alpha male in my life whom I can trust completely enough to put my life into his hands.
Ironically enough, I HATE spanking. I don't even really like to play at it. Even if the spanking is in fun, I still need to believe that there's some reason behind it. It's a head thing for me. I like the IDEA that someone cares enough to enforce the best for me, and hold me accountable to a higher standard than most. I don't want to be "average" in any means, and I like the idea that someone will push me to that level, even when I don't have the energy to do so myself. Another irony is that I'm probably one of the least in-need-of-discipline people you'll ever meet, but I still crave that sorta foundation.
I have a "thing" for cowboys. I think it's the romantic, chivalristic, but full hands-on kinda love thing. I also think I was born to the wrong era because of this. I like patriarchal-styled cultures. I know the modern-day woman in me probably shouldn't, but I do. I would be just as happy being a medieval serving wench as I would being a haughty southern belle, or a home-on-the-range homemaker.
I also have a "thing" for non-consentuality. Some twisted little part of my head craves being forced to take something I don't want. Sometimes I want the savage, testoterone-laden beast to come out in my man. I want to be hunted. I want to put up a fight. I want to watch the sweat bead up on his forehead and his muscles flex from the exertion it takes to subdue me. I want to be conquered... then taken, used for what he will and at his mercy. My fantasies often have no faces or themes, sometimes it's just this emotion of distress that rings through my heart and I can hear screams.
I'm a total leather girl. I love the suppleness of it, the look, the smell, the bite... *sighs* I DETEST most forms of wood. I used to have a hard-limit against canes, but now I feel accomplished and proud after I take a thorough caning. Picture me doing a Stalone-esque victory dance.
As far as partner traits go, I need a man who's been wisened by life experience. I just can't go for these young guys whom are more ignorant about life than I am but still try to play the Dom role. Nothing wrong with them, just not for me. They also need to be well-spoken and literate. The way to get to me on any level is through my head, and that's just not going to happen if you can't put a sentence together likely to titilate my senses. I also like the calm, cool, collected type, with a little something fierce masked underneath. I don't want to see anger, though, just power. No screaming, no temper tantrums, no irate fury, ect...
I'm just another nut in the nuthouse, happy to be at home amongst the rest of the freaks
