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I wish i had as eloquent of words and thoughts as most of the posters here, but unfortunately that just isn't me. I can however speak from my own feelings and heart. I am still looking for the pot of gold shall we say in all of this "lifestyle" "way of life" "orientation" or what ever else you may call it. I am still fairly new though and do have a great guy that is willing to put up with some down right annoyances from me because of frustrations that surface and i immediately start talking of going "vanilla". Thankfully he is always there to save me from myself in those moments. I hope that you can save yourself from those thoughts as well and lean on your husband as he does seem a cut above the rest in at least willing to give it a try since he knows it is a need you have in life. So all i can say to you southern is i do hope it works out for you....it sounds like it would be a terrible thing to lose either your way of life or your husband....and there has to be a way to encorporate both. Afterall...the vows did read for better or worse.
I wish you the best of luck in life and everything that goes with it.
Sherie
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