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The wife knows of course, but for her it's hard to miss considering she's the one getting turned over (but we met through alt.com, so definitely she likes). Of my family my brother might suspect but has the tact to keep it to himself. My friends don't know and don't need to know. My mother in law knows how my wife is wired. My wife never officially told her that I do spank her but sometimes drops some hints, so she probably suspects that her daughter has found someone who gives her what she desires.
Of my wife's friends one of them knows, she's a Dom herself and she once asked me if it "works" when I spank my wife (in terms of how it effects our relationship, since she got pissed off with her boyfriend and considered introducing him to certain measures... she never did though and neither did she stay with him). As far as I know non of her other friends know anything.
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