Advice for a couple newbies?
 

Hi all. First post. Hope this is the right forum.

Next week I'm meeting a woman to give her a spanking. This will be my first time to do something like this. I have had numerous women over my lap, including this one, for playful swats, but never meeting just to spank. I'm very excited about it but want it to go well and so am seeking advice from those that have gone before.

First, we're friends, still getting to know each other, but very comfortable together. We're not romantically involved and not looking for it. We're interested in exploring playful, erotic, sexual spankings by hand. She is a self-professed "girly-girl" and isn't into the hard stuff. I'm not into it either. She hasn't had much more experience than I- just fooling around with boyfriends. She says that spanking is a "turn-on". I'd say the same thing. I love caressing, touching, slapping her sexy little hinnie... just thinking about it...well, makes me wanna do it! :p

So, I guess what I'm looking for is advice to a couple newbies like us that will help us enjoy this first time to the max. If you could relive your first time what would you do again? What wouldn't you do?

Thanks.

Hi, and welcome. It sounds like you have everything in place already! You're friends. You're comfortable together. You both want the same things in a spanking scene. You both have a degree of experience. Your lines of communication are open.

You might want to discuss limits, and safe words, if you haven't already. If you're into scenarios/roleplays, you might want to bounce some back and forth and see if any appeal. Ask her to share her fantasy scene. Otherwise... I would say just relax, get together and have fun! If you both like videos, choose one to watch, if that helps you get into the mood. Enjoy each other, laugh, relish the experience.

My first time was nearly 12 years ago, and I think the only thing I would have changed was asked for more holding/hugging/caressing afterward. But the spanking itself was amazing, his demeanor was perfect and he asked all the right questions, and I wouldn't have changed any of that.

Hope you'll tell us how it went! :D -- Erica

So Erica, what was his demeanor and what were his questions?

Before we played, we talked... he asked me about limits, about what he could do and couldn't. We chose a safeword. He asked how much of my clothing he could remove. He asked if I had any particular fantasy, a roleplay I would enjoy. I knew instinctively that these were all good signs -- he was thoughtful, had done his homework and would be very considerate and safe.

Once the spanking started, his demeanor was calm, but very stern and dominant. His voice was low, measured and confident, and it made me weak all over just to hear it. I will never forget it. To this day, I prefer spankers to be like this -- calm, collected but clearly in charge. I still marvel at how he was able to read me and know what I liked, when I didn't even know myself, yet.

I was very, very lucky. I know it doesn't always go this way. -- Erica