So many frogs and so few princes...
 

OK...dont really have any spanking stories to relate since I've not been spanked yet...just the endless search and things that happen when you talk to different people.

There are a lot of jerks out there!!! Here is the latest...

So, I was talking to someone about spanking on YIM while I was at work yesterday. The conversation was going just fine. We were talking about my implement collection which always leads to the question of whether any of them have met my bottom.

Well, I'm a curious sort and I can't really get something and then just toss it in the closet and ignore it. So, of course I've lightly tested each one on my bottom, just to see what it might be like.

Lots of men seem rather fascinated by the whole self-spanking thing and they immediately want to know what positition you were in, were panties up or down, etc.

So, I told him...bent over the arm of the loveseat and panties down (I mean I DO want an idea of what it feels like on bare...plus it does feel much more naughty when you lower those panties).

Then he starts telling me how I should get in this other position and I'd then be able to use both hands and blah blah blah. His description of the new position was exceedingly vague (go to the middle and put your arms on the cushions).

From this description I came up with FOUR different positioning scenarios. Here is the order I thought of them. 1. Standing behind the couch in the middle with arms leaning on the seatback cushions 2. Kneeling on the sofa/loveseat with arms on the seatback cushion 3. Standing in front of the sofa loveseat with arms resting on the seat cushion (bottom part that you sit on). 4. Standing in front of the sofa with arms leaning on the seatback cushions.

It was apparently #3 that he was imagining. So I was going through the positions as I thought of them, trying to figure out what he meant. Finally I hit on what he meant on my third try and I made a little comment about "oh sometimes I'm a bit slow". Which was a joke since I've already thought of three perfectly good positions and I am anything but slow.

Anyhow....here's the part where I get mad....he says, "Oh I was thinking more like STUPID".

OK...you could have nearly PICKED me up from the floor when I heard him say that. You know how when you get angry you can almost hear the blood rushing to your head...my face is hot, I can hear rushing sounds in my ears. I do NOT take very kindly to being called stupid (or other demeaning names either).

I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, thinking, "Oh, he must just be kidding and not have meant it the way it sounded"...so I try to make light of it at first (even though I am mad and if chilliness could be transmitted through the keyboard, then he should have frozen to death). But, he goes on to say how it was such an obvious position and so only someone who was stupid wouldn't have known what he meant exactly.

Here is the part where I'm proud of me (cuz I really do have a hard time standing up for myself...usually I'll just finish a conversation and then never talk to them again rather than tackle the issue head on and have to deal with all that). Anyhow, I flat out told him he'd pissed me off and hurt my feelings and that I did NOT take very kindly to being called STUPID.

At this point, you might think there was an apology coming, but nope...he went on again about how it WAS stupid for me to not have gotten what he was imagining in his head first off.

I'm seething mad at this point and mentioned something about how stupid people can come up with four positions while the "intelligent" among us can only come up with one position and expect everyone else in the world to get it from their very vague description.

At this point, I think he is finally starting to figure out that I'm seriously pissed because now he is saying maybe his description was a bit vague and IF it was, then he was sorry it was vague (notice that he's not sorry he called me stupid, just sorry that maybe his description might have been less than stellar!).

Now you'd think he'd tread lightly at this point. Do you think he did???? Oh, you bet your booties he did NOT!!

He then goes on to try to convince me that I should spank myself for him on live cam. (yeah, like that is ever gonna happen in this lifetime).

At this point I ended the conversation rather abruptly and left.

I'm still ROYALLY PISSED OFF!!!



DO NOT CALL ME STUPID!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

My new nickname for you my dear is "intelligent iggy" especially since you recognized right away that this guy is a jerk. Next time just say "Oh go spank yourself "Stupid !"

That's is deplorable, Iggy. The way I see it, its all about respect. And that jerk obviously does not have enough class to show any. Any guy that would treat a lady who is taking the time to chat with him about spanking in such a manner as that is, well...stupid! You have every right to be royally pissed off.

This is your first actual mistake.

And rather than analyze a couple of others things that, being me, I could analyze ;) let me just say this.

There is no excuse for anyone actiing like this at any time. And with something this insensitive, boorish, and egregious not only does it not merit a "second chance,' which you graciously gave him, it should not get a second chance, period.

Because of the unique power/authority imbalance that we deal with in the spanking (and BDSM, for those into that) world, I think it is enormously important for those in the Top/Dom position to ensure that while exercising their authority to be sure that they are both respectful in general to those who are bottoms, but to also keep in mind that they may be less prone than the usual woman to stand up and assert themselves when put in such a position due to their natural submissiveness.

His actions were inexcusable. You did the right thing (just not soon enough). If you would be so kind as to e-mail me his contact information I would be more than glad to explain to him in detail what a sorry loser that he i....ummm...I mean to offer some instruction on the more gentlemanly way to communicate with the fairer sex. :D

You tell 'em RG !

Stories like this just make me really angry at (expletive deleted) who act like this. Unfortunately, it has been my experience that it's a pretty common thing in our world (and probably in the vanilla world, too), and made worse, as noted above, by the inherent power imbalance. I think Doms, emotionally healthy ones, at least, are imbued with a natural sense of protectiveness for bottoms and subs. For bottoms and subs, I think that a key characteristic to look for in a Dom/Top is this sense of protectiveness. Anyone who acts like that guy did with iggy is so out of bounds that his kind needs to be constantly kept in the light.

Can you tell that my dander is still up? ;)

I am not a seasoned pro at this, but I think the tone setting should be loving discipline not degradion and demoralization.
I, personally, am not into bdsm, but more of the mainstream discipline scenarios like in Amber's recent story. Which is exactly why I love this site in particular.

That really sums it up nicely. I suspect many would-be doms labor under the mistaken idea that they are supposed to be mean spirited, rude, unreasonable, etc.

Well done Iggy. May you find more prinves than frogs in the future!

Rafa

Wow, what an f-in jerk! What a loser! Bravo for you to just being done with him! What a loser - trust me, you don't need anything like that. He would not be caring or anything, just a loser!

Good to see everyone on the same page with this one. It's a shame Iggy had to endure this kind of garbage, but good to know that true spankos like us value Iggy's intellect and self-esteem.