spanking or abuse
 

Although a confirmed spanko who has had many experiences of being spanked form an early age but kept very private, I have now given in to the urge to find out more of what goes on 'out there'. One thing has puzzled me. I . except for a few instances, have always been spanked by hand - usually on the bare bottom - and the use of implements such as hard hair brushes, canes etc I regard as almost an assault. A firm hand on a bottom can get the message home well enough without inflicting serious pain or brusing. I understand that everyone is entitled to their own thing but as I said I just don't get the inflicting of really serious pain on another.
Am I wrong? maybe I should just keep to myself and get on with my thing.:confused: :o

You're not alone on this one. Lots of folks who enjoy spanking don't appreciate intensity or the idea of discipline. There are various styles of spanking including sensual and erotic as well as just playful. Whatever style you like or intensity level you prefer, you can find it here. :)

First, I'll point out that "abuse" has to do with the issue of consent and the attitudes of the participants. It's unrelated to the implement(s) used or the level of discomfort involved.

While some implements may be able to cause greater discomfort or marking than others, the actual results will depend mainly on the way the implements are used. A hand spanking from Dallas (of www.dallasspankshard.com) can be far more severe than a playful session with a small leather paddle or even a fairly light caning from someone who knows how to use a cane. So it's really up to the participants to decide what degree of discomfort or marking is desirable or appropriate for them. Then it's up to the (hopefully responsible) spanker to create the desired effects with the implement(s) selected. And of course communication between the participants during the spanking is vital in order to achieve the desired results.

In years past spanking was normally considered a punishment. Giving a spanking to someone (Daughter, son, younger relation, etc.) was an action to persaude them not to do something again. that was considered wrong. Which I would think should be very firm, but certainly not cruel. Then of course it was and still is, arousing to spank a girlfriend or wife for being somewhat mischievious. Which opens a new corridor into sexuality. This is when role playing becomes important, while also committing to one's limits. I would think anyone in this kind of relationship (Which I'am sure is very common on this website) Should respect their partner's wishes and pain threshold limits! Anything beyond that is being cruel.

I think if both people are of legal age or whatever and both are 100% happy with the situation no matter how tame or serve it is not abuse. (Obviousely relationship wise and not any other way as a sexual thing only)

The difference
 

The difference I belive is actual consent. Or another word used for consent...submission. I think the world of erotic or adult spanking is a whole different world from that of punishing children. Having been on the scene for a few I would say that it is not hard to find the difference.:eek: :p

I really don't see using implements or hard spankings, as long as it is between consenting adults, is assault or abuse of any kind. We all have safe words, or should have, to use in case things get too intense.

Each one of us has our own limits and likes. Some people like the harder, more intense feel of different implements. Each one has its own feel, leather, wood, rubber, plastic. Some are more thuddy or stingy or warming. My personal preference is leather.

I don't think that we have the right to judge what someone else enjoys except as a personal preference.

Kimmy ;)

Hell, I'd find it cruel and abusive if my spanker DIDN'T use implements on me!! Getting only hand spankings would be a HUGE tease for me and I would end up feeling completely unfulfilled...

Like others have said, it comes down to consent.....

And hell, getting what you want! Communication is key...

severe
 

As for me the severest the better. But I am not in any case a sadist. I love especially canes a paddles. And bruised bottom is so wonderful. Everything is more complicated as we often think. The more pain the more endorphines and that make the spanking so amazing. But you must stand such a pain. It depends much on dom and sub also. Trust in each other is the most important.
And situation also. Mood in both sides do such things.

Well, first off you can't be wrong with an opinion... but having said that there are very varying desires when it comes to adult spanking. A lot of people (most of the ones I have met in the spanking scene) would completely agree with you. For us (the lovely wife with her spankable bottom and I) however, hand spankings are at best foreplay to vanilla sex. When it comes to spanking there needs to be pain and bruising, and yes in our relationship that is true for both of us. It is easy for the spanker to say he wants to see bruises (actually quite a bit harder to also pull it through with someone you love). But if anything my wife is even more disappointed than I am when she can't admire some nice marks in the mirror the next morning after a punishment.
I don't think I can explain why either of us feels the way we do, even though my wife and I sometimes philosophize about it. I know I love spanking her. I know she loves getting spanked both for fun, but also for punishment. By now (four years) she also knows that while I will punish her, I will forgive her after and I have never held her past mistakes over her head. And she knows that I can and do admit when it was me who was wrong. I know many people will and do disagree with our lifestyle, but it works for us. We are still just as much in love as during the infatuation period and at the rare times that we do fight, it is over very quickly. I step back and think, if it was my fault I apologize, if it was hers I tell her to fetch one of our toys so I can spank her. I usually do ask her after, if she agreed with my decision (it is after all still with consent) - so far once she told me she thought I was too hard on her for what she did, and a few times when I did apologize myself she told me I should have beaten her anyway since it wasn't only my fault :) But most of the time she agrees with my decision or even admits that she thought she would deserve and get much worse than what she got.