When's enough ?
 

It's me again guys, with yet another question :rolleyes:

SpankER's; When you give a spanking with the purpose of "teaching a lesson" what makes you decide when that is accomplished ? Is it determined by what the offense is and a set amount of swats ect ? Or is it judged by the spankee's responses ?

SpankEE's; At what point do you think your "lesson has been learned ?" Is it after the determined amount of swats per wrongdoing or do you feel it is fair to be pushed to your limits in order for you to walk away feeling guilt free ?

In my case it's judged on both, with more emphasis on the response of the offender and less on the offense committed. When spanking is used, I think that it needs to be something that gets into the recipient's basket, something beyond what she can take in her head and desparately wants to stop, but without getting brutal. But I would also emphasize that actual spanking is only a piece, and not even the major piece, of trying to achieve real behavior change. As a foundation I think that one must know as well as possible the one over whom they have authority, in both personality and in the details of their lives and the circumstances. Whether romantic or platonic, there must actually be a human relationship and a genuine care and concern for the person. Beyond that, it's necessary (to be effective) for the one in charge to actually have some maturity, to understand the real difference between true disciplinary spanking and spanking to tickle some kink need (for either party), and to use spanking as only one item in a much larger picture of guidance. And lastly, without getting too long in words, I would point out that much more behavior change is achieved through positive involvement (read that again-involvement), encouragement, praise, and frequent follow-up than through direct punishment, including spanking.

Speaking only for myself, tried and true methods, these are.

I think Gary nail it right on the bottom!
But to add to that I think if there is an expected number of swats, then the spankee is mentally taking an indurance test. If instead it is unknown how many swats they will recieve, then the discipline becomes more intense mentally.
As a spanking is being administered you can notice the levels of change in attitude. The responce should be the signal of when the spanking has done its purpose.
And, I agree, it should never be brutal.

I definitely don't need to be pushed to my limits although a lot of the time I am... for me, it's enough just knowing I'm getting a spanking. With everything I conjure in my head, by the time it actually happens, I am totally sorry, let alone actually getting the spanking.

Very good question. I've always found spanking to be an empathic experience. Somehow, as a spanker, you just know when the point has been made. That's usually when you say "Count these last 5 / 10 for me young lady.". I don't believe in setting a specific number of punishment swats beforehand, but it makes a stronger finish to have the last swats counted. And yes, the spankee's reactions play a major part in that.

As a domestic disciplinarian, I truly believe that "enough is enough" when the spankee demonstrates that they have experienced a painful consequence and then express remorse or contrition. If sassy mouth attitude continues, or acting as if the spanking is not affecting them, or they refuse to hold position...then obviously they have not been spanked enough! I will continue to spank until they either 1) cry profusely and apologize or 2) apologize. ;)

That is when I know that they have had enough.

Cheers!
Veronica D.

Yes Ma'am. *Sniffles & sobs* I'm very sorry. ;)

See, the thing here is there's plenty of visual proof that she's telling the truth. She gives a serious spanking. Believe it!

Hmmm....Amber is close...Veronica is close...seems to me, Gary, that you need to get these two together and let Veronica demonstrate the AS version of her 'serious spanking' abilities. And what a great F/f pair those two would make!

That sounds like a good plan. I'm not sure how great Amber will be that though...