I'm new...with questions...
 

i'm new to this site, and relatively new to the "scene" as it were (i've only been spanked three times in my adult life and all of those experiences have taken place this past month)...although, i've been interested in spanking for as long as i can remember.

i'm married to a man who is NOT interested, and i'm wondering if anyone else is/has been in a similar situation? any tips for a successful conversion?

AnnaP, I think I can understand your feeling as I am in the same boat. I am not sure it is possible to change someone into something they are not.

so...do you just live with it?

I am still struggling with it. I am not sure if I will stay in the relationship due to my interests in spanking, or find the grass is or is not greener on the other side. Being that I am very unsure to leave a life I know behind without knowing what lies ahead is tough. I have other difficulties within my marrage that we are working on, and if these do not work out I know what I will be looking for. Some of our problems stem from my inerest and do not know. So basically for now yes I do just live with it. I do know there are other people that stay in these relationship, but explore the spanking outside of thier marriage.
Basically I can not tell you what I am doing or advise you as I am very confused at the time about this.

Anna, I think you'll find that the vanilla partner issue is one of the biggest connundrums our community faces. Especially for those who were married before they found others via the internet.

A lot carry the opinion that you can't convert someone into a spanko, maybe even most. There have been a few sucessful stories, though. Usually it comes with a lot of honesty and open communication. At the very least, in a loving and trusting relationship, the vanilla may at least try to entertain your desires, even if they don't understand. Some are closet spankos, and you might just awaken something fierce (in the good way!) inside.

Good luck, with whatever may happen!

Oh yeah, and welcome...

thanks for the insight...and for the welcome!

unfortunately, he's responded coldly when i've discussed it with him recently...

it's frustrating, b/c although i've had my first few experiences recently...the desire is strong and i really want to be pushed farther...can't a girl just get a spanking? is that too much to ask?! ;)

Anna what everyone is saying is pretty on point. You will find many people in the Scene who are playing outside of thier marriges becasue thier partners are not into it. I have had this situation for the entire time I have been into spanking, the fornuate thing for me is that in most my partners addepted my spanking interests. However I knew it was due to thier desires to please me. But, this only happens becasue I am open from the start about my interest and how it plays out in my life...positively and negatively.

It's a fact of life that many people come upon this lifestyle after being in committed relationships. So it makes it difficult on both parties because in most cases thses are people who truely love each other who must now make a choice about how they fullfill each others needs and desires in a lifestyle that they very ofetn only know or percieve as taboo.

I will say that most of my relationships ended becasue of spanking but of the same natural causes as any realationship does. I am convinced that you can never truely turn someone into a Spanking enthusiast. And if you push and they relent it will only cause resentment and do more harm than good.

If your desire is so striong that you feel a choice will need to be made...I also believe that as someone thouched on if the realationship is in trouble it usually has more to do with may things other than someones spanking interest. But like anything it could become an easy flash point of blame.

So, take a long look at why you have a desire to live an open Spanking Lifestyle and how strong your love and commitment to your partner are before making hard ireversible decisons.I truely hope you find a way to make things work...just approach with open eyes and an open heart.

thanks so much!

I identify, too
 

Hello, AnnaP , Hey, I am another person who identifies with you as my wife would never understand the spanking lifestyle. I have met with a few others when possible, and I do not engage in the sexual aspect of it because I am married. I'd love to find someone like you close that I could share this with, and just keep it simple, but is anything simple anymore?