hello cassy welcome to the forum. this is a great bunch of folks you will like it here.

emily

Ok I've checked ya all out over the past few days and I feel like I can share here so here it goes. (where the heck else could I share this stuff? - lol)

Been married 13yrs. Ill be 33 this year. We have 1 3yr old daughter.

I reveiled to hubby just last year, my spanking fetish. Yeah I know, I waited too long. But really I was just too embarrassed to mention it. He's a "straight arrow" kind of fellow.

Anyway, he's trying really. It hurts a lot more than I thought it would! But thats quite all right. Thing is we've only tried it a handful of times. And during the whole thing he is constantly asking me if he's doing this or that correctly and/or if I want him to stop.

Smack smack. you ok?
Smack smack. want me to stop?
smack smack. are u horny yet?

me: Aw just forget it!

Bless him for trying but the whole point is for HIM to be in control NOT ME! Am I being a baby here? He doesnt get it and I know I should be thankful that he's even trying at all.

Ok so shy-girl spilled. Be gentle with me.

Well cassygray,

I don't envy you being in the position of being a "coach" to your husband. But you'll find we have plenty of experience dealing with vanilla partners on this forum. Hope we can be of help!

Cassygray, I don't know if it possible for a vanilla to ever "get it" the way we do. But you've already broken the ice which is the hardest part. So I would advise you not to give up and be patient with him. It may take a while, but if you continue to coach him, talk openly about it, tell him what he's doing right or wrong and offer constructive criticism he may eventually surprise you, and himself.

Its quite possible that he'll never fully understand all of this. But most men love a woman's ass and can get very aroused by giving attention to it in any way, shape or form. So who knows? If you keep going with the trail and error method, in time, he may just get the hang of it after all. Either way, I think its worth the effort and salute you for taking the initative for your efforts. I wish you all the luck in the world. Keep us posted of your progress.

yeah I'm not sure if he'll ever really "get it" completely. I do give him credit for trying, which is why I hate to be critical.

He's definately an ass-man so thats a plus in my favor. Problem is he wants to rub it and grab it instead of smack it. lol. :o

Welcome cassy.

I laughed when I read your story, because it was a lot like mine. Except I didn't have a daughter, and I never said forget it. Usually by that point, I was hot as a firecracker and couldn't form words! :D

My advice is be patient. You've tackled the toughest part - telling him. Boy, was that ever scary. But I believe he will get better in time. It definitely won't be overnight, but as well as he's doing this early on, he'll get there.

Be very careful not to criticize him. That will put you two steps back.
Complements and appreciation will get you much further.

At least, that's what worked with me.

Good luck, CG, and remember - patience, patience, patience!
(yeah, not my strong point either!)

Terry

I'm one, too, but I like ALL of that! :D

Work on him and talk to some others here. If it's not in their core, they may never get beyond their (boring ;) ) vanilla persona, but I know of several vanilla hubby's/partners who do a great job of accommodating the kink, and are happy to do so.

Im new here too
 

New to this site too, so welcome and I hope we both find what we are looking for!

Where have my manners been ? Hope it's not too late to say welcome to you both Cassy & Sapperphil. http://www.v-rodforums.com/forums/im...es/welcome.gif