Arianna, your husband could also be uncomfortable because he is not sure what he is doing-or supposed to be doing...that is why parties are so great. Tops learn from other Tops the various techniques and toys, bottoms learn different styles of interrelating (bratting, if you will). They are fun and allow you to explore new avenues. But, as everyone has said, we are all different and each spanking session has various motivations and reactions. (Also, TMI, for me it is hormonal how much I "want" or "can" take). Your actions and reactions will differ depending on your emotions. That is ok, too-just enjoy the discoveries!